What is the Major #1 Reason for Conflict in a Relationship?
A relationship is much more than just two people coming together with distinct views. There are relationships which reach the point of marriage not because they are perfect but because they succeed to comprehend each other's differences.
However, if you are in a relationship and find it devastating to work it out, then it is crucial to address the underlying reasons in the first place. Wondering how to do that? Well, here are some kinds of issues that can lead to relationship conflicts and can leave a negative impact causing it to ruin. So without any further adieu, let's discuss and find out ways to overcome them.
Lack of Communication
It is known that 65% of divorces happen because of poor communication. (Source)
One of the first reasons that may lead to conflicts in relationships is when couples have little to no communication at all. There are also chances that one of them may be involved in sole communication, screaming and arguing, while the partner is less bothered.
A partner may often do this to avoid arguing and tension. But somehow this causes the relationship to fall apart. In order to overcome this problem, couples may try to be empathetic towards each other or simply adopt habits like meditation that can help in resolving poor communication.
Resentment
Another underlying reason why most relationships end is resentment. This happens when a person frequently struggles to express their hurt if one spouse offends them for some reason. On the other hand, the partner becomes inclined to harbour such unfavourable feelings which leads to resentment.
This causes the distance to grow and a sense of anger as well. It is very important that a person examines resentment.
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Possessiveness or Being Dominant
Did you know that 67% of women may break up if their boyfriend wanted an open relationship? (Source). It is important to know that possessiveness in a relationship is close to being jealous which can not only destroy oneself but the relationship itself. When there is an excessive need wanting to control the other person, the consequences can be unbearable.
Not to mention, even the slightest thing can annoy your possessive partner or make them angry to the extent of aggressiveness. Such behaviour can continuously create conflict in relationships making it difficult to manage.
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Ego
Another common cause of conflict in relationships is Ego. People who have egoistic partners frequently struggle with multiple things. Whereas, the ones who have egos generally deal with insecurities which they attempt to hide by projecting an image of being superior to others.
Having an ego can also be understood as self-hatred and low self-esteem. If your partner deals with ego and they really want to change, then it is important to know the ways it can be transformed into self-compassion.
Lack of Discipline
A Lack of Discipline is often neglected but can be a reason behind relationship conflict. For instance, you may find your partner to be lenient with the kids whenever they make a mistake. But on the other hand, you believe that the child should not be given reminders about certain things on a continuous basis.
It is simply not prioritizing each other's values or boundaries. Thus, this may lead to causing problems where two people disagree strongly and yet do not come towards any conclusion.
Disloyalty
It is reported that around 24% of marriages are affected by infidelity issues. (Source)
Being unfaithful or disloyal to the partner is one of the biggest setbacks in relationships causing conflicts. Individuals often find their partners cheating on them which results in the end of the relationship.
It also fuels anxiety and leads to trauma when one is deeply invested in their partner. However, one must understand that your partner can be disloyal for multiple reasons.
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( Source)
Lack of Understanding
"You may love someone and still not understand them". If you have heard of this saying, then you must know that understanding someone is the best type of intimacy.
When your partner feels understood, it gives them a sense of comfort and safety. But when there is a lack of understanding, it can turn into the biggest reason for relationship conflict.
Disrespect
Maintaining respect in a relationship is important regardless of the nature of the issue. This may include calling people names, foul language, sarcasm, shouting, abusive behaviour, etc.
It can be expressed through body language as well. In any relationship, respect is the main foundation and no one should get the right to treat another in a disrespectful way. If you find your partner to be disrespectful, then know it is very important to walk out with confidence.
Abusiveness and Violence
Around 57% of women and 35% of men have reported being in a relationship that involved harassment. (Source). When you find someone in an abusive relationship, you may wonder why they don't leave.
This is because people normalize unhealthy behaviours, becomes hard to escape the cycle of control, self-esteem is destroyed, one feels responsible for the relationship conflicts, the hope that things may change, and more.
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Sexually Rejecting
As every relationship involve two individuals- each of them have their own needs and desires which cannot be neglected. Therefore, when any one of the partners refuses to fulfil such needs, it leads to conflict in relationships.
The reason for rejection could be anything from needing personal space, being moody to being stressed. However, there are ways where one can deal with sexual rejection without letting it transform into a conflict.
( Source)
Finances
Around one out of four people have broken up because of money problems. (Source)
Some men find it uncomfortable to earn less than their partners. Whereas some women may choose not to be the primary provider.
This can cause some bitterness between the couple.
Apart from this, if one partner's income seems to be insufficient, it can be really stressful on the other partner who may be in charge of the financial decisions.
Simply put, the marriage-killing money issues should not be ignored.
Lack of Trust or Insecurity
Here comes another common setback in a relationship that causes conflicts. The lack of trust and too much insecurity simply open the door to developing undesirable attitudes, behaviours, jealousy, and so on.
This can eventually lead to serious issues like abuse on both physical as well as emotional levels. As a partner, it is important to understand the root of the problem.
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Lack of Responsibility
Every time a disagreement ends, you may find your partner and yourself to reach an understanding. Having said that, the words and actions may have led to anger, sadness, use of foul words, or negative emotions.
A conflict in a relationship may arise when one accepts responsibility for the harm brought during the course of the agreement. The lack of responsibility simply showcases that your partner may not be interested in promoting interactions.
Inability to Compromise
The inability to compromise may cause the partners to drift apart. This may be because of a lack of understanding and empathy. An individual may find their partner to be stubborn and selfish.
Also, it may create a sense of being used and undervalued. As someone in a relationship, it is important to understand that it helps partners to grow as a team.
Lack of Effort or Attention
Lack of effort and attention can cause the love in the relationship to fade away. One may find too many relationship conflicts arising that may be devastating to deal with.
Without effort, your partner may feel insecure, unloved, and less cared for. It is crucial to know that effort is the secret ingredient to a healthy relationship.
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Dishonesty
About 90% of people lie to their partners. (Source). Belief is flimsy. Lies and secrets can put relationships and trust in danger. In worse cases, the cost of secrets and lies causes irreparable harm.
As an individual, it is important, to be honest with your partner in every way. The more transparency you bring to the table, the more solid foundation of the relationship would be developed.
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Normalizing Trauma
It is reported that every 8 out of 100 women and 4 out of 100 men are dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. (Source). Healing is very essential not just for personal growth but for the growth of the relationship as well.
When any trauma is normalized, it comes back causing conflict in relationships. As an individual, it is important to address the trauma and resolve it. For that purpose, one can seek help from a therapist or simply opt for habits that can bring positive changes.
Commitment Issues
You may find yourself deeply invested in your partner. But if you find them being unable to make healthy connections with your partner, then know that they are showcasing commitment issues.
In such times you may find it daunting to read their emotions and make adjustments. This may somehow lead to conflicts in the relationship causing it to ruin. However, instead of worrying, you can help your partner in such times to overcome it.
Not Accepting Weaknesses
It is crucial to understand that every single human in this world is full of flaws. If you look for a perfect partner, you will never be satisfied. Therefore, it is very important to accept others' weaknesses and not over-expect them to be something else.
Having too many expectations can hurt you as an individual and can also feel burdensome on your partner which may lead to relationship conflict.
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Emotional Unavailability
Another drawback causing relationship conflict is emotional unavailability. When your partner is emotionally unavailable, they may respond to you in a very defensive way.
Or they may constantly blame you for the actions of others which can be hurting. Thus, being emotionally unavailable does not make one bad or incompetent in love.
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Selfishness
Being selfish with your partner causes conflicts in relationships that may be one-sided. In addition to this, the partner might begin to hold grudges and express disappointment on a regular basis.
It can also hurt the other partner just to make oneself satisfied at the moment. As a result, it can cause the relationship to end. If your partner is being selfish to you, then know that being kind to them can really help.
Not being a Good Listener
A major reason why conflicts in relationships arise frequently is a partner not being a good listener. When you have a partner who does not try to understand what you have to say, it simply leads to misunderstanding. Most of the time, a conversation may end up in an argument as well.
Also, your partner may feel undervalued, unsatisfied, unheard and unloved because of this. Hence, it is crucial to learn ways to improve your listening skills as it can not only help the relationship but yourself as an individual.
