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How to Deal With parents Having High Expectations From You?


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How to Deal with a Partner Having Very High Expectations From You?  

Every strong relationship is based on a delicate thread of mutual trust, and understanding. There is nothing that is capable of stopping you from cherishing your relationship, than unrealistic desires. Our expectations are an essential part of the relationship since it sets the correct direction for us in our walk of life. Once the expectations reach out of our control it grows to a point where it is both harmful and unrealistic. Finally, we either end up alienating our partner or piling up toxic emotions within ourselves. At this juncture, you need to reflect back on what you want out of a relationship. Being able to differentiate between demand and self-worth is of utmost importance. 

Also learn: How to Control Anxiety the Right Way?

This does not in any case mean that your relationship should not have conflicts. Couples who are happy in their relationships tend to argue as well. They are the key to a better understanding. The point of question that still prevails is, whether the demands that you are imposing on your partner are realistic? Why not readjust them from time to time? Before answering these two questions you need to know your beliefs thoroughly. Unknowingly you often control your activities as per the notions of society and being over judgemental of yourself. Slowly this starts bleeding within your bloodstreams and you end up controlling your relationships as per the standards of perfection set by the society. Along with a description of your partner comes a huge list of complaints about him or her. Unknowingly you fail to realise even you are not perfect as well. Logically none of us is perfect either. Though the way one is critical of his or her partner imposes a question if our expectations from our partner are too high. There may be a number of reasons leading to a high level of expectations of your partner.

  • Rediscovering the missing part within you

  • The term soulmate has been always found to be connected with unrealistic expectations. We find ourselves imposing on our partner to perform appropriately to all those imaginary criteria that we have set within our mind. In most cases, these criteria emerge either out of your learned prejudices or unfulfilled desires of your past. You often wish your partner to provide things in particular that you may have awaited for since your childhood. Trying to mirror your imaginary expectations of your partner would end up making your partner feel puzzled in the relationship. 

  • Distorting behaviour

  • Even if you have chosen a partner possessing the qualities that you have dreamt of for a long, you unknowingly deny the fact that they may have a different way of expressing their own selves. As a result, you may have to go through a different set of experiences than the one you have framed in your mind. This is why you often unknowingly develop a habit of focusing on the negative aspects that your partner possesses to the extent of exaggerating something that does not even matter much. 

  • Forgetting individual anatomy

  • When you just connect with your partner, you are more interested to know your partner as an individual unique person, but as time flows you start setting standards for them as to how they should be as a perfect partner. Slowly you get into an illusion of connection or a fantasy bond. Which means that you see yourselves as a couple rather than two different individuals. As you merge with your partner you tend to lose vital characteristics that keep you connected with your inner self. The same may take place with your partner. Then and there the relationship would start losing its essence. 

  • Expecting your partner to be a mind reader

  • You are often irritated by your romantic partner because you expect them to read your mind if they are really in love with you. You often don't realise that you never reached out to them to share that these little things matter a lot. As per our society speaking out our desires might be vulnerable but in order to set the bond in perfection it is the only way out to help your partner understand you better. 

  • Shrinking into your inner world

  • Once we form a fantasy bond with our partner, we often step out of our boundaries and impose a number of demands on our partner. At this juncture, you unknowingly become critical of them in case they are unable to fulfil the same due to some other constraints. You may as well want them to give up certain activities that matter a lot to them. Unconsciously you begin restricting your partner's individuality in order to make yourself feel more secure. 

Expectations are necessary for a relationship. Healthy expectations are the ones that enlighten the connection between both of you, it retains its essence and perfection only when it remains within certain boundaries. Once it becomes threatening to the extent of losing one's individuality it would mess up the relationship. In order to retain the bond, you need to retain the essential characteristics that have brought your partner close to you and the same needs to take place from your partner's end too. Amidst the unity as a couple, the unique individuality should also retain its presence in order to keep your relationship going smoothly. Keeping the above points in mind would further help you lighten the burden of unrealistic expectations that are stressing yourself as well as your partner. 


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